Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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