I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
