My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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