I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
