i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
