No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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