Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
