Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
