Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
