using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
