I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
