Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
