Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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