I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
