Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
