Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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