how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
