He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
