McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize