u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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