she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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