Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
high people should be assigned attendants
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
