Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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