So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
