everyone is single if you try hard enough
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
