then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
