he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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