There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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