im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
