Porn is love you can see.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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