His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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