i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
