If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
