I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My bed smells like the plague
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