Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
