no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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