Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
