I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
