Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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