i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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