So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
