Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
