I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
