Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
