i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
