I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I deserve this hangover.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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