I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i think im in europe. pls send help
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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