She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
