about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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