Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
