hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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