I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Be still, my beating vagina.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
