Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
