he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize