So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
