haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
