I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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