The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
