Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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