Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
