I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
