Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He kissed a someone with a penis
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
