It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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