i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
